The long and rarely winding but extremely boring road!
More road-so you may appreciate L.E.'s boredom when driving it for 1500 miles or more.
ROAD TRIP:
Last week L.E. "won" an E Bay auction for a diesel powered VW Bug.
L.E. had studied the specifications of said vehicles and concluded that they were perhaps a better solution for his family than a hybrid. This because 42 mpg City and 49 mpg highway (old EPA figures) appear to match or better the figures of a Prius (or Honda Civic)and the Prius is a very, very ugly car in L.E.'s opinion and in the opinion of she who must be obeyed, whereas the Bug is very, very cute.
A further attraction is that if one is industrious (and desires to thwart BIG OIL's plans to take all of our money) it is entirely possible to make one's own fuel from waste vegetable frying oil collected from restaurants. This is the blow one may make against BIG OIL, together with the lesser use of its products.
One drawback to L.E.'s plan was that the car he won was in Houston, Texas, over 1,500 miles from Las Vegas.
An early morning $400 flight (maybe too early for the Taxicab Authority goons) got L.E. to Houston Hobby airport by 12:45 local time. As his wife upgraded his ticket he was first on board and obtained the prized front seat with legroom. He settled back and drafted some boring correspondence regarding his HOA and enjoyed (yes perhaps a little early for some) a complimentary Bloody Mary during the flight.
Upon arrival in Houston he called the seller of the VW to find that his wife was about to go into labor with their first child. This meant L.E. waited at the airport for a couple of hours waiting for the seller.
After Sam the seller eventually arrived it was only a short time before money was exchanged for title and L.E. headed off into Houston' rush hour traffic to begin his journey home to Las Vegas.
What appeared easy when planning the trip became a nightmare when L.E.'s GPS provided different directions than the small scale map provided by Mrs. Fant via Yahoo Maps. L.E. made this discovery when through a spaghetti bowl interchange with his GPS bleating at him to exit seemingly north instead of west which appeared logical to him. When an hour or so later he re-passed some truckers which had gone the way demanded by the GPS L.E. realized that perhaps it knew better on that occasion.
However, after rapid decision making based on hunches L.E. eventually found calmer traffic and the "10 West" again. His wife had booked a room at a Rodeside Inn at a town called Junction, TX where L.E. arrived at around 9:30 local time.
When L.E. arose the next morning he realized that the driving task before him was immense as he still had over 1,300 miles to go before reaching Las Vegas where it was Mrs. Fant's birthday in a few scant hours.
Topping off the tank with fuel showed that L.E. had achieved around 44 mpg so far (with A/C on and mostly 70 mph). This was encouraging.
L.E. set off and noted that the road signs indicated that El Paso was nearly 400 miles away.
Sorry to you Texans but L.E. must note that he found not one reason to take a photograph of any of the monotonous, scrubby, unremarkable other than for its lack of any scenic significance, vistas he encountered through Texas. The views were the eye's boring equivalent of the mouth's granola.
Next, BIG OIL apparently attempts to thwart L.E.'s plans.
L.E. fuelled up at the first stop into New Mexico at a Texaco station. As he fuelled he did not realize the significance of what he thought to be water leaking from the connections of the hose and nozzle. It turned out that the fuel he purchased was contaminated.
L.E. Fant also noticed, when fuelling up, that the temporary license plate had blown off the VW leaving it naked of any I.D. and now likely cop bait.
As the only food available at the Texaco was convenience store food L.E. drove a few miles on and stopped at McDonalds where he consumed a grilled chicken on wheat sandwich.
When re-entering the interstate L.E. realized that the VW was way, way down on power. His stomach had that sinking feeling as he pondered how much a tow to wherever was going to cost.
He eventually managed to nurse the car up to 55 mph or so on the level and 30mph on inclines(despite the limit of 75 or 80 mph) and attempted to (like NASCAR drivers) draft behind big rigs when possible [that really worked-it got another 10 mph or so and allowed use of the A/C which was now off to conserve power]. Most big rig drivers attempted to stop L.E. from doing so and hit their brakes or swerved across lanes in their efforts to thwart L.E. from drafting behind their rigs, which made the NASCAR analogy even more poignant.
500 long miles later L.E. topped the tank with fuel [and gasped down a 99 cent hotdog which cost him $3.00] which apparently was o.k. as the car now almost instantly regained its power and was again capable of greater speeds, use of the A/C and cruise control[that was a relief as no A/C when outside temps were in the high 90's and occasionally 100 was not enjoyable].
L.E. finally crossed the dam into Las Vegas (luckily the police at the checkpoint did not comment upon the lack of plates on the VW, L.E. guesses that terrorists probably don't drive such cute cars) on the 93 and made it home 1/2 hour into his wife's birthday at 12:30 am after a very long day of driving.
It appears that the VW achieved approximately 49 mpg for the last leg from Phoenix [with A/C on and some mountain climbing].
A very sad corollary to this purchase is that L.E. has agreed (after ultimatum from she who must be obeyed) to dispose of his beloved Mercedes coupe (and Moto Guzzi and Vespas) to make room for the VW.
MOVIE REVIEW:
Part of the birthday celebration included attending the movie Sex and the City.
L.E. Fant has no doubt that most women who attended enjoyed the movie (judging from the applause and box office returns).
To the cynical L.E. it was, at best, extremely predictable. He will refrain from providing you with the touchy feely ending so you may suffer as did he-or if female rejoice.
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